News Update!

Bono recalls the ‘terrifying’ day he was shot at.

In a new book, released by money grabbing bastard Bono, he has recounted of the time when in Jamaica he was shot at with over 100 rounds of bullets after being mistaken for a drug smuggler.
Jamaican police, obviously taking a leaf out of the Hollywood book of weapons training, managed to miss Bono with every single round as he disembarked from his private aircraft when landing for a family holiday in Jamaica on a sunny Monday morning in 1996.
He said “imagine just how starving the kids in Africa would be if i’d have died that fateful day. Who would have taken up the reigns of preaching for worthwhile causes if i’d gone? Certainly not Bob “give us yer fuckin money” Geldof, thats for sure – he had one hit single and somehow he’s still famous – although now-adays its more for his whore of a daughter”
While delighted no harm came to his family, i’m fucking furious at the Jamaicans.






PSNI officers sent to Afghanistan to train the ANP (afghan national police)
Police Service of Northern Ireland officers have been sent to Afghanistan to help train the Afghan National Police. The officers sent have served for the PSNI for several years and so are well versed in the required training modules of discrimination and taking bribes.
The course has the following modules:
· Are his eyes too close together? Best to shoot first
· How to wind up peaceful suspects to the point the retaliate and you can shoot them
· How to ensure you get plenty of ‘danger pay’ even though its a risk of the job.
· How to drive ‘different’ people out of the service
· How to minimise the effect of the above so you don’t get rebranded with a stupid name.
So far the training has been a huge success with the ANP’s total kill total of ‘people who have stolen this country from us/invaded our country unfairly*' has risen dramatically.
*delete depending on your side of the tracks