Belfast Voted 4th Top City To See Before You Die

Belfast has been voted one of the top cities to see before you die.



In a recent study conducted by a large hotel chain, Belfast has been named one of the top cities in the UK to see before you die. Below is a list of just some of the attractions you can experience on a trip to Belfast

• The Worlds Most Bombed Hotel - The Europa
• Loyalist/Nationalist graffiti - On walls all over Belfast - see it now as its being slowly replaced with badly drawn murals of fields and George Best.
• Potentially The Worlds Most Deadly Shopping Center - Victoria Square, with is huge glass Dome is a beautiful shopping complex but once someone decides to plant another bomb it will cause a vast amount of glass to be fired off in several directions into unsuspecting shoppers. Although it may look gorgeous, with the light of the bomb blast refracting through the shards to make some glorious colours, it will probably kill you.
• Belfast at night - Experience the beauty of Belfast at night - From the lights of the Waterfront Theater bouncing majestically across the Lagan to the weird giant fish sculpture thing up the road, Belfast has lots to offer the nocturnal tourist. Being intimidated as you walk past a group of street urchins on the corner. Their friendly banter includes such phrases as "what are you looking at", "i'll do ye" and this writers favorite "i'll set my da on ye". Wander the streets behind City Hall to see a dazzling selection of local prostitutes who lurk there, just for your pleasure.
• Belfast Zoo - One of the UK's premier Zoo's - In 2001, vandals broke in and threw one of the penguins into the lion enclosure - The lions ate the penguin. Police were unsure if they removed the wrapper first. (this actually happened)
• Go to the Belfast Welcome Center in the city center - It is just a huge shop filled with merchandise like leprechauns and Guinness tat - even though these are more often associated with the south.
• The Belfast Wheel - A huge Ferris wheel in the grounds of City Hall, you too can get stuck dangling in the air for several hours because some mad pikey has climbed it.
• Come during July to see the famous '12th fo July Parade". Please don't come before the 12th, we'd especially advise you not to arrive on the evening of the 11th and please go home straight after the parades before it all kicks off. Please.

These are just some of the reasons why Belfast has been voted 4th City in the UK to see before you die.

The remaining cities in the top ten - Glasgow, Oxford, London, Cardiff, York and Cambridge must be absolute shit holes.

The top three above Belfast were:

• Edinburgh - Excellent historical city, lots of things to see and do but lots of drunks
• Bath - I know nothing about bath, i can only assume its delightful (but with more drunks than Edinburgh)
• Liverpool - Possibly the most exciting city in all of the United Kingdom due to the constant threat of having your possessions stolen.