GLORIOUS NORTH KOREA LIFT WORLD CUP FOR 17th CONSECUTIVE TIME

Pyongyang was a place of celebration today as the national team returned home victorious from Brazil, led by decorated captain and tournament golden boot winner Kim Jong Un.

Having won every World Cup since the formation of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea in 1945, Kim Jong Un led his team to glory in a thrilling Final in Brazil. 

Due to our dominance in the World Cup throughout the years, the disgusting westerners of FIFA tried to rig the final.  Instead of playing Germany, as would have been the case had usual rules been followed, FIFA colluded to set up a 'Rest Of The World XI' consisting of the finest talent from the rest of the teams in the World Cup.

Not even this could prevent glorious North Korea from winning 9-0 with Kim Jong Un scoring a double hat trick.  The last three goals were scored by Jang Kwang-Hak after Kim Jong Un graciously passed to him to show the world that anyone could achieve their dreams.

Once again, North Korea gets their name etched onto the world cup and prove once again that we are the best nation on earth.

In other news today, Jang Kwang-Hak has been executed for treason.

World Cupdate III

We apologise for the lack of updates in regards to the world cup.  Our current sports reporter, fiercely loyal Frenchman Christarea Sportsteam, has gone off in a bit of a huff since his beloved side went out of the World Cup.  Last time we reported, the Quarter Finals were to be played. 

Argentina 1 - 0 Belgium

Argentina scored in the 8th minute and ground out a 1-0 win. The Belgians played well but it was not to be.

Netherlands 0 - 0 Costa Rica

The most boring game of the Quarters. Cheating Dutch win on Penalties.

France 0 - 1 Germany

The game that broke our correspondent. A typically efficient performance from the Germans to get through to the Semi's. 

Brazil 2 - 1 Columbia

Brazil beat Columbia. Expected really.

The semi's were entirely uninteresting.  Argentina beat the Dutch (the cheating Dutch who shouldn't have progressed this far anyway).  Germany narrowly beat Brazil in a 7-1 victory.  The best match of the cup so far, probably won't be bettered for quite some time.

We'll report on the final after it's happened.  Probably like a month after, we're not terribly on the ball around here and don't actually care about the World Cup...but big news and all that.