The Scotch have a decision to make this week. On Thursday, million of Scotch people will rush to the polls to vote on whether or not Scotland should break off from the United Kingdom and become independent.
While they won't physically break away (though if Alex Salmond had his way, they'd have a line of pneumatic drills working 24/7 along the border), what will the repercussions be if Scotland becomes independent?
- The price of Haggis, Irn Bru and Edinburgh Rock to increase throughout the remaining UK nations.
- The Scottish Premier League (SPL) will be even worse.
- If they do not adopt the Euro, they will launch their own currency - The Haggis (Symbol will be the squiggle (~) and currency code HAG).
- As the Treasury is refusing to allow them to use the Sterling, they will no longer have the Queen on their money. The Scottish five Haggis note will have Susan Boyle, the ten will have David Tennant, the twenty will have Sean Connery and of course the little seen fifty Haggis note will be large enough to show both members of the Proclaimers.
- Can no longer use Hadrians Wall as a tourist attraction. It's been fine up to now as we're all one big happy family but the wall is in England, so enough of your nonsense, Scotland.
- Edinburgh castle to be shipped, brick by brick, back to England as they were the last monarchy to live there.
- The Last King Of Scotland will become an inaccurate title as Alex Salmond prepares for a drastic change in government.
The United States Of America are keeping a close eye on the current situation. If Scotland does gain independence, the current US administration believes it may have to swoop in and liberate the North Sea fields.
The vote is too close to call at the moment, polls are swinging one way or another depending on who does the poll. We'll keep you updated throughout the week and this Thursday we plan to do a live blog of the news, updating hourly.
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