Alex Salmond Asks Scotland For Independence. "No" Says Scotland

Using an extremely complicated algorithm devised by graduates of Queens University*, Norn Iron News can exclusively reveal the results of the Scottish referendum on independence and the answer is No.  

Getting the results just as the polls closed is a coup for our little organization but as there were only 12 actual votes cast, it was an easy count.  However the official results won't be announced until somewhere between 6am and 7am as previously speculated.

It was an incredibly close vote that was broken down as follows.

6 votes for no

5 votes for yes

1 vote was unreadable, orange and quite sticky.

Alex Salmond now has his tail between his legs having pissed off every government official in the UK bar those in his own party.  As agreed though, the Scottish parliament is to get yet more powers from Westminster including.  No-one is entirely sure of the specifics of the deal but it's expected it will at least get Alex Salmond to shut the hell up for a while.

Alex Salmond has vowed to keep holding referenda until people get so sick of it they just say yes.


*we tossed a coin