UK ELECTION SPECIAL UK ELECTION SPECIAL UK ELECTION SPECIAL

The mainland is in the grips of Election Fever! Gordon Brown, David Cameron and the other guy are making wild promises they can’t keep in order to get themselves into power.


Let’s take a look at the main parties policies on Northern Ireland and see what effect it will have on our little Island



Labour Party
Finances – Give them a little bit of cash to keep them quiet for a while
Policing and Justice – Already sorted, let them get on with it
Environmental – Let them get on with it
Military – They’ll sort it out between themselves

Conservatives –
All Aspects –
Make deals with key Northern Irish Politicians to hope we get into power & let them do what they want.

Lib Dems –
Finances – Give Ireland back to the irish
Policing & Justice – Don’t make them have to take it away
Environmental – Give Ireland back to the Irish
Military – Make Ireland Irish Today

Monster Raving Loony Party
Finances – More Investment in Infrastructure & Projects
Policing & Justice – Ensure the powers of policing & Justice stay controlled by Stormont.
Environmental – Ensure Green Belts are protected & Invest in renewable energy sources
Military – Military occupation not considered unless absolutely necessary. Government to try & handle current crisis.

Paedophiles, Catholics and High Street Stores

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone has put the Vatican in the shit again for the umpteenth time in recent weeks after claiming that Homosexuality is behind the molestation of thousands of children at the hands of priests.


The Cardinal said “I have been told there is a relationship between homosexuality and paedophilia. This is true, that is the problem”. He went on to add “Clearly celibacy is nothing to do with it, the biggest problem this world faces today is the threat of the gays. Coming into our countries, stealing our jobs and raping our men folk. They’re worse than the Jews. Clearly we need to take action and outlaw homosexuality for the safety of the children”.

The Vatican has been in crisis ever since yet more revelations of priests molesting children and even the fact that the current Pope, Benedict XVIXMCMSVIIIIXIIIVX, had the chance to stop it when he was just a cardinal, but chose not to.

Keep watching the site for more updates on this as they unfold. I am bitterly disappointed that i wasn’t about to write about this one when it first kicked off.

Also this week, Primark has decided to stop selling padded bikini’s for children. People being (understandably) out raged about 8 year old girls hitting the beaches this summer like the opening titles of Baywatch. Primark have removed the product from stores and have donated all the profits from any current lines sold to a childrens charity.

Norn Iron Editor Found Alive In Austrian Basement

Yes – we’re back, and still alive.


Has been a busy few months, and now its kicked off in Northern Ireland, no doubt you’ll need to be kept up to date with all your local news.

Keep an eye on the site for new stories over coming weeks